Chagrin

This is a 16 x 20 mixed media piece. I used torn pages from one of my old diaries I found while cleaning out my parent's house. This diary was filled with a young girl's dreams, hopes, plans, and even a flow chart on how to get that one special boy to kiss her. I remember very little about my childhood, so it was interesting and hilarious to read. Yet out of everything I had forgotten, I have always remembered him. There are certain people in your life (if you're very lucky) who leave a mark on your very core. He was one of those people for me. In the ignorance of youth, and the haze of undiagnosed anxiety and depression I pushed hm away -several times. I believed he was just to good for me. That I would somehow break him, and I found him to be such an amazing soul that I pushed until he left me.  That was near 30 years ago, but sometimes God gives us a break, the good kind.  Through modern technology I was able to reconnect with him as the woman I am now.  One who knows she is a child of God and therefore worthy of love.  I'm also medicated which, let's be honest, makes a heck of a lot of difference too. I'm married with 2 kids to a wonderful man; and he is married to a beautiful girl with 2 tiny humans of his own. I am blessed enough that I was able to selectively share bits and pieces of the diary with him. That sharing made me realize how grateful I am for his presence in my life for so many years. Even in those times when I never thought I'd get to talk with him again he brought me peace and joy.  So it struck me that no matter what happens in my life I can be pretty sure that he is a permanent mark on my soul.  I wanted to use some pages from the diary to honor that, and yes I used the flow chart as part of it. Trees have always brought me a similar peace and they live on forever. So siting next to the Chagrin river I created something to express my heart and (hopefully) honor my friend.