Friday, February 24, 2017
It's funny the more I come into my truth the more I can see it was always there. I just denied myself or felt shame.
Shame is the killer of our spirit.
I am a baby girl who needs a Daddy Dom. I'm not a little or a slave, he is my Daddy. Yes I obey him. Yes I let him guide me. But I don't do it because I'm afraid of punishment, even though that could happen, I do it because he loves me so very much. I do it because Daddy knows how desperately I need to feel protected. I do it because Daddy makes me feel safe.
My collar calms me. My blindfold helps me feel peace. My restraints keep me present in whatever expierence He is leading me through.
The soft strokes from the flogger center my scattered thoughts.
The shock and resounding sting from the riding crop push my brain until I'm just barely holding on.
Then the smack of his hand on my ass. The delicious feel of his skin on mine. The warmth that spreads across my ass gains footing in every inch of my body.
Daddy knows exactly when I have finally let go. He knows when my brain has finally shut down and given me peace. He knows when I'm ready to give myself to him body and soul.
This is when he gives me the perfect gift and fucks his baby girl until I am a quivering mess begging him to let me cum. And when he says "yes" I am wholly his with the explosion of my body.
Saturday, October 1, 2016
God I love you
I know that I always have
From before this version on my soul drew her first breath
I have loved you
It is as if you are a sold and tangible part of me
As if I am unable to feel whole without you
No one can help me
I'm drowning in your truth
In my truth this time
Because I can never let you know
It is a painful place to be
Comstantly feeling like I will never be yours
Thinking I can never
Say to you what is in my heart, my mind
My soul, my sex
I can never truly let you in
Not all the way
Because then I will lose you
And I can't lose you
It would be like tearing my skin off my body and
My pound of flesh given
I tearing in my brain, a split, schism
Seeing you love her, hearing the devotion you have
Knowing there is nothing I could ever do to change that
Knowing how happy I am for you
Because I am genuinely so
Because even though I want you all to myself
Wrapped up in me
There is no rock or hard place
There is no silver lining
This. Just. Is.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you..
Sunday, August 14, 2016
I whisper your name to break the silence
I'm resigned to you now
Imagination gives me what I want
It makes you tower above me, my protection
I must remind myself to breathe when I'm around you
I must force the air back out of my lungs
For in that exchange I am home
My hand slides into yours effortlessly
I stand and feel the warmth of your hand
on the small of my back, guiding me, leading me
My breath catches as you slide your arm around me and pull me into you
Pressing my body into yours
My heart pounds in my ears like a storm
Waves crash in my belly
You are my shore
It is terrifying to touch you
sadness, longing, guilt
I am glowing just being near you
Needing to drown in you
Please just brush my lips with your finger
Please just touch my neck
Please, just, please
I could make you happy,
I could make you love me,
I could disappear completely.
- "Do You Sleep" Mary Lambert